Beauty In and Through My Son

I’ve been thinking, lately, about the beauty in my life. Namely, I’ve been thinking about the beauty I see in and through my son. Today my sweet boy is 8 months old. Everyday I look into his big eyes and at his sweet smile and I am captivated by the beauty that I am witnessing. It is beyond words and yet I sit here trying to express it.

This past week I was reflecting on his birth. For the first few months after he was born I had trouble thinking about all that I had undergone. I viewed it as more of a traumatic event to recover from than a beautiful event with which I had been blessed. Now, 8 months after this traumatic event I look back and think to myself it was the most beautiful blessing I have ever received. Not just because the boy himself is so beautiful. More, it was true sacrificial suffering, and what is more beautiful than that?

I reflect on the suffering and I am proud and empowered that I was able to overcome the pain and preserver though it. At the time I felt I had no choice. The child had to come out and this is how we had decided to go about it. Even in my weakest moment I knew that pain medication simply was not an option. I believed that I had made the most loving decision for my son and changing that was out of the question.

Thinking now, 8 months after the event, I am so filled with joy. It is mysterious how all the pain has vanished and I now see joy, peace, and beauty in its place. I feel empowered, while simultaneously humbled, that God would allow me to endure such suffering. I feel closer to Jesus through Mary, in a way that I believe is a special gift to mothers.

Each and every day I look at my son and I am awed by his precious innocence and simple joy. How beautiful it is to be a baby and know nothing but mothers and fathers love. This is beautiful indeed.